Dear Valued Customer.....

Due to dramatic increases in our overhead costs, we are obliged to
charge you for our general support services from this point forward.

Our new price list is as follows:

• Simple answers $ 3.00
• Answers which need some thought $ 7.00
• Honest answers $ 12.00

And, for services we find ourselves performing even more frequently:

• Answers to dumb and unnecessary questions $ 20.00

We cannot keep our standard reactions free any longer:

• Shrug $ 1.00
• Look dumb $ 2.00
• Look very dumb $ 5.00
• Get the boss $ 15.00

The one price that remains unchanged:

• Ignore you completely - Free