A man in London reads the newspaper and sees that a 'Talking Dog' is for sale.
He drives around to the house, knocks on the door and the owner appears.
He asks the owner whether he could view the dog.
'Of course you can. He's in the back garden'.
The man walks around the back to find this lovely golden Labrador Retriever lying in the sun.
'Do you really talk', asks the man? 'Of course I do', replied the dog.
The man is quite shaken by this.
So the man asks him to tell him his story. 'When did you first realise that you could speak'?
'When I was quite young really', the dog replied. 'I realised that I wanted to do something useful with my life and help the government, so I told the S A S.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because they never suspected a dog would be eavesdropping'.
He continued, 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight long years.
All very exciting stuff, but the jetting around the world really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down.
I signed up for a security job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near near suspicious characters and listening in.
You wouldn't believe the shady dealings I uncovered, and I was awarded several medals.
'After that I married, had a few puppies, and now I have retired'.
The man is amazed.
He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
'Ten quid', the owner replied.
'Ten quid? But this dog is absolutely amazing! 'Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?'
'Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been outside the back garden'