Hazardous Material Information Bulletin
Material Safety Data Sheet
Woman: A chemical analysis

Element: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Discoverer: ADAM
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg., but known to vary from 40-200kg.
Occurences: Copious quantities in all urban areas.

Physical Properties:
1. Surface usually covered with painted film.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied to correct points.

Chemical Properties:
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expencive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in
alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

Common Uses:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.

Tests:
1. Pure specimen turns rose pink when discovered in natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Hazards:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more then one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact
with each other.