THE TOP TEN REASONS COLLEGE STUDENTS ARE LOOKING
FORWARD TO THANKSGIVING BREAK

1. You'll know that your turkey is a Butterball rather
   than a Grade E yet semi-edible fur ball
2. Your mother will not be serving your mashed potatoes
   and stuffing with an ice cream scooper
3. Pumpkin pie is a great alternative to green jello
4. After your eighth glass of cider, your emergency
   dash to the bathroom will not be delayed by having to
   line the seat with toilet paper
5. Clean underwear, comfortable bed, access to a car,
   bedroom larger than a 12x14 cell... OK, even if it is
   for only four days
6. To eat your meals the only trek you'll have to make
   is from the couch to the kitchen, rather than the dorm
   to the dining hall...in below freezing weather
7. Instead of listening to "when I first started
   teaching here..." you can be entertained by "when your
   mother was your age..." and "during the Depression we
   weren't lucky enough to have brussels sprouts. Hell,
   all we could afford was the sprout!"
8. You can eat your corn steamed with butter rather
   than popped in your microwave
9. You'll know the hair in the shower drain is your own
10. You won't be eating your Thanksgiving meal off a
    tray!