Three Italian mothers were attending a football game. Each
had a son playing on the same team. At the start of the game,
the first boy saw his opportunity, grabbed the ball and running
quickly, out-foxed the opposing team, making the first
touchdown. His mother, obviously proud of her son, sprang
from the bleachers, shouting in her broken Italian accent,
"Thatsa *my* boy! I raised him onna da Pet milk. Ain't he-a
fine?"

Soon, the second boy received the ball and in a spectacular
run down the field, made another goal for the team. Not
wanting to be outdone by the first boy's mother, the second
boy's mother jumped from her seat, exclaiming, "Thatsa *my*
boy!! I raised him onna da breast milk. Ain't he-a wonderful?"

The third boy, hadn't done so well, but finely someone threw
him the ball. He fumbled it, then recovered...running in the
wrong direction, fell with the ball, ran some more, stumbled
again, dropped it once more, recovered it and finally crossed
the goal line on the wrong end of the field. The third Italian
mother couldn't stand it any longer. Rising from her place in
the stands, she shouted, "Thatsa *my* boy! I raised him onna
Milk of Magnesia. Ain't he-a the shits?"