A hillbilly is looking around a big hardware store
when he sees a display of chain saws with a sign
guaranteeing that this model of chain saw can cut
twenty cords of firewood in a day.

He motions to
a salesman.

'Can I help you, sir?'

This here chainsaw, kin it rully cut twenny cords o'wood in a day?'

Yes, sir, that's the guarantee. Twenty cords of wood or you get
your money back.'

Yer joshin' me. Twenny cords o'farrwood? Ah don't blieve it!'

'No, sir, it's true! Guaranteed.'

Wull, Ah'll trah one but ah still don't blieve it!'

He buys the saw.

He returns not the next day but the
day after that.

He seeks out the same salesman and
confronts him with the slightly-used saw.

'You lahr!' he says, 'You lah laka dawg! You sayed
this here chainsawr'd cut twenny cords o'wood in a
day! I got up yestiddy at the crack o'dawn 'n'I cut
'n' cut 'n' cut all day! I didn't stop till it wuz
dork! 'N'I couldn't cut moren' six cords o'farrwood
t'save mah lahf! Now whattya say about that?'

The salesman looked perplexed. 'Gee,' he said, 'maybe
you got a bad one. Let's try it.'

He takes the saw,
pumps the primer a few times, and pulls the cord to
start it up.

The hillbilly's eyes get wide with surprise. 'Gawd
a-mighty!' he shouts, 'What's that racket?'