- What do you call a gagged and tied woman?
... Trustworthy - What does it mean when a woman is in your bed gasping
for breath and calling your name?
... You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. - Why do only 10% of women make it to heaven?
... Because if they all went, it would be hell. - Why do women like smart men?
... Opposites attract. - How are wives like lawn mowers?
...They're hard to get started, they emit
noxious odors, and half the time they
don't work. - How can you tell when a woman is well dressed?
...
When you can just barely slip your finger in
between her neck and the noose. - How do women define a "50/50" relationship?
... What's yours is hers, and whats hers is hers. - How do women exercise on the beach?
... By trying to keep their butts from eating their bikinis. - How do you get a woman to stop biting her nails?
... Make her wear shoes. - How does a woman show she's planning for the future?
... She buys two dozen pairs of shoes instead of one. - How was Colonel Sanders like the typical female?
... All she's concerned with is her legs, breasts
and thighs. - How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
... ONE .........She just holds it up there and
waits for the world to revolve around her. - What didn't evolution stop after creating females,
(the first animals)?
... Because it could do so much better. - What do most women consider a gourmet restaurant?
... Any place where the man pays. - What do you call a woman with half a brain?
... Gifted. - What do you do with a spinster who thinks she's
God's gift to men?
... Exchange her. - What should you give a woman who has everything?
... A man to show her how to work it. - What's a woman's idea of honesty in a relationship?
... Letting you tell her what she wants to hear. - What's the best form of birth control for women?
... Holding an aspirin between her knees. - What's the difference between Big Foot and an
intelligent woman?
... Big Foot's been spotted several times. - What's the smartest thing a woman can say?
... "My husband says..." - Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
... So women can understand them too. - Why did life create females before males?
.. Because you're always supposed to have a
rough draft before creating your masterpiece. - Why do female black widow spiders kill the
males after mating?
... To spare them from what men have to go through. - Why do female jocks play on artificial turf?
... To keep them from grazing. - Why do women need instant replay on TV sports?
... Because after 30 seconds they forget what
happened. - Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize
one egg?
... It doesn't. But none of them want to take the chance alone. - Why is it difficult for women to find men who are sensitive,
caring, and good looking?
.. They know how to avoid idiots. - Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
... It means most of the problems have been solved. - Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than
for women?
... Because men pay their bills.
