NAME : Expecteria Trouserius (Trouser Snake)

LOCATION : Throughout the world

DESCRIPTION :
* One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head
(other types come with extra layers of skin)

* Varying from pink to black.

* Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet)

* Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its
mood sub-species.

SYMPTOMS : This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front
abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump.

Then a severe
swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months.

The
attack is not usually fatal.

Beware: It has been known to attack
men in the rear lower abdomen!

HABITAT : Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in
the most unusual places.

ANTIDOTE : Various types of vaccine available for women.

However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic
measures will ensure complete recovery.

There is no known
antidote for men.

WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED - TOURNIQUET : Do not
apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be
affected.

CUTTING THE WOUND : This would be completely unnecessary and
ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.

SUCKING THE WOUND : This method is the most popular with the
victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.

SEARCHING FOR ANTI-VENOM :

1. Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the
   reptile, with the thumb in the front.
2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards
   motion.
3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive,
   very rigid and start spitting.
4. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on
   the milker and the last time the snake attacked.
5. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20
   minutes.

CONCLUSION : This snake, although it is very aggressive and
active, is not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right
respect, makes a wonderful pet.