In addition to the old lines about "The check is in the
mail" and "Certainly, I'll respect you in the morning,"
modern events have made for modern lies to take their
place among the classics.

Following are some of the
"new" classics:

• I never inhaled.
• I never watch television except PBS.
• Don't worry -- we'll be putting out the Y2K upgrade
  next week.
• I did not have sex with that woman.
• I will be devoting my life to finding the real killer
  of my wife Nicole and Ron Goldman.
• The engine is supposed to make that noise.
• Just take a left after the lights -- you can't miss
  it.
• I am married, but we're getting a divorce.
• Don't worry, I can get another 40 miles when the
  gauge is on "empty."
• Just ignore him -- he's never bitten anyone.
• I've never done anything like this before.
• It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.
• You get this one and I'll pay next time.