A guy walks into a pet store and asks to buy a canary.

The
proprietor replies, "I'm fresh out, but I DO have a parakeet."

The customer insists on a canary, until the shop owner informs
him that a parakeet can be made to sound like a canary if one
files the beak just so.

"But be careful not to file too much off or the parakeet will
drown when he goes to take a drink of water."

The guy buys the
parakeet.

His next stop is a hardware store, where he wanders into the
file section, holding his recently purchased bird.

The owner
wanders by and asks of he needs some help.

The new bird owner sheepishly explains how he intends to make
his parakeet sing like a canary.

The hardware store owner
knowingly picks up a file and hands it to him. "Be careful not
to file too much off, or the poor beastie might drown."

The guys buys the file and takes the bird home.

A few weeks later, the bird owner wanders into the hardware store.

The owner, recognizing him and asks how he made out with the
parakeet.

The fellow looks down and sadly reports, "Bird's dead."

The
hardware store owner shares his sorrow and asks, "Filed off
too much beak?"

To which the former bird owner replies, "Nah, he was dead
when I took him out of the vise."