12 Dog: They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl.

11 Goldfish: Just because I have a three-second memory, they don't think
I'll mind eating the same fish flakes...
Oh boy! Fish flakes!

10 Dog: "Man, why do they keep rubbing my nose in it?
I already KNOW whose it is!"

9 Cat: Suck out one baby's breath and you're a pariah.

8 Goldfish: The wimp-ass knight never comes out of the castle to fight me
for dominion over the fish tank. So I must continue patrolling, for I am
lord and master!

7 Parrot: Tease, tease, tease -- but do those greedy bastards ever
*really* give me a cracker? HELL, no!!

6 Dog: Human legs that just tease.

5 Dingoes: When you snatch a boney, crunchy baby instead of a plump, juicy
one.

4 Cat: Why are these people in my house?

3 Dog: What the... HEY!!! Where are my balls?!?!

2 Goldfish: "Oh, tap-tap-tap! *There's* a new one!"

and the Number 1 Pet Peeve of Pets...

1 Guppy: Every time that hot Angelfish looks this way, I've got one of
those stringy turds hanging.