• If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor
  is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing
  pound puppy underwear and a Superman cape.
  It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all
  four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
• When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
• Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of
  it.
• A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even
  though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in
  the movies.
• If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing
  baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes.
• A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000
  sq foot house 4 inches deep.
• LEGOS will pass through the digestive tract of a four
  year old....
• Super glue is forever.
• McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
• No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool
  you still can't walk on water.
• Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
• Crayons do not remain solid when stored on a car's
  dashboard on a hot summer day.
• Never leave a toddler, a furry animal and a pair of
  scissors alone in the same room.
• VCR's do not eject peanut butter & jelly sandwiches,
  even though TV commercials show they do.
• Always look in the oven before you turn it on. {that
  durn hamster!}
• Small pets and microwaves are a bad combinations.
• You should never take a goldfish for a walk; even on a
  leash.
• The fire department in Roseville has at least a 5
  minute response time.
• The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
  earth worms dizzy..
• It will however make cats dizzy.
• Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.