Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling asleep.

All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man, dressed in a white robe, standing in front of his bed.

"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?... and who are you?" He asked.

"This isn't your bedroom." The man replied. "I am St. Peter and you're in Heaven."

"WHAT!" Said Tom. "Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young. I want you to send me back immediately."

"It's not that easy." Said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is yours."

Tom thought about it and figured that being a dog is too tiring but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life.

Running around with a rooster can't be that bad, he thought. "I want to return as a hen." Tom replied.

And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken coop, nicely feathered.

But now he felt like his rear end was gonna explode.

Just then along came a rooster. "Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about. How do you like being a hen?"

"Well, okay I guess, but my ass feels like it's about to explode."

"Oh that!" Said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg."

"How do I do that?" Tom asked.

"Cluck twice and then you push real hard."

So Tom clucked twice, pushed hard and 'plop', an egg was on the ground.

"Wow!" Said Tom. "That felt really good!"

So he clucked again and squeezed and you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground.

The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: "Tom, for Christ's sake! Wake up! You're shittin' all over the bed!"