Intaxication:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation:
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Foreploy:
Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

Giraffiti:
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm:
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
doesn't get it.

Inoculatte:
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis:
Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis:
A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit)

Karmageddon:
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right?
And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.

Glibido:
All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.

Ignoranus:
A person who's both stupid and an asshole.