While waiting at a bus stop for a bus, a woman stepped onto a weight
machine that told your fortune and weight for a quarter

She put a
quarter in, and out came a card that read, "Your age is 32, You weigh
135 lbs, and you play the fiddle."

She found the fortune amusing, since she didn't play the fiddle, but it
did have her age correct.

About that time, an old gentleman walked up
carrying a fiddle.

She asked him if she could see his fiddle.

He agreed,
and to their amazement, she started playing the fiddle with great
natural skill.

She wondered if the fortune machine had actually known
something about her that she didn't.

She thought about it, and decided
to try the weight machine again.

She put another quarter in the machine,
and out comes the card that reads: "Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs,
and you have gastritous."

She found this one to be absurd, as she was in perfect health, so she
goes back to the bus-stop to wait for her bus.

While sitting there, she
develops abdominal pains that continue to get worse until all of a
sudden she farts.

She wondered about the fortune, and again was curious
if the machine was capable of knowing stuff about her that she didn't
know.

She puts another quarter in the machine, and out comes a card that
reads: "Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs, and you are about to have sex."

She laughed out loud, as she had been trying to find a decent guy to
screw for weeks, with no luck.

She is sitting there waiting for the bus,
when this attractive young man sits down and immediately their eyes
locked, and they both knew that they were right for each other.

They
quickly ducked down an alley and began to screw like two teenagers

The
woman was so simply amazed at the ability of the machine, that she had
to try it one more time.

She stood on the machine, put her last quarter
in, and out came a card that read: "Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs.
You've Fiddled, You've Farted, You've Screwed around, and now you've
missed your bus."