A CAUCASIAN WOMAN:

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.

Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position. Then you promise to marry her but will probably abandon the idea.

ITALIAN WOMAN:

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant

Second Date: You meet her parents and her mom makes spaghetti & meatballs

Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3 carat ring

5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex

6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend

JEWISH WOMAN:

First Date: You get a dynamite blow job.

Second Date: You get another great blow job.

Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

MALAY WOMAN:

First date: You get to touch those big breasts of hers.

Second date: You get to home base with her.

Third date: You have to promise her that you are gonna get circumcised. Then you will marry her and find out that you have to support her whole family.

The only consolation is that you get to repeat the procedure three other times as allowed under Muslim law.

CHINESE WOMAN:

First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happened.

Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing happens again.

Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you have already realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMAN:

First date: Meet her parents.

Second date: Set the date of the wedding.

Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMAN:

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.

Second Date: Your get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.

Third Date: You get to pay her rent.

Tenth Date: She's pregnant

IRISH WOMAN:

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex

GREEK WOMEN:

First Date: You find out she's a chain smoker and heavy drinker, despite the fact she's underage

Second date: You get her piss drunk and have sex

Third date: You find out she was a virgin and her dad and 30 uncles are all out searching for you with a shot gun and a priest ready to perform the wedding liturgy