A four-year-old wanders up and down the aisles of a supermarket crying his eyes out.

"What's the matter young fella?" asks a concerned shop assistant.

"I've lost my mommy!" wails the youngster, sobbing convulsively.

"Don't worry, we'll soon find her," soothes the shop assistant."Now what's mommy like?"

"Big dicks and vodka," sobs the little fella