A private is on duty in the motor pool when the phone
rings:

"Soldier, can you tell me what equipment is available for
use immediately?"

The voice on the other end asked. "Well,
sir, we have two tanks, a half dozen half-tracks, two
armored personnel carriers, a couple of motorcycles, and
fat-ass Johnson's command jeep."

"Soldier? Do you know who you are speaking to?"

"No sir." "This is Major Johnson, your commander!"

"Uh Sir? Do you know who you are speaking to?"

"Not yet!"

"That's good! Bye, Fat-Ass!"