- You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. - At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." - A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine." - When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. - A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
- A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." - A young son asked"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son." - Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late." - Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
- Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all. - First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive." - " A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to
forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death "
