• A dog will forgive you for playing with other dogs
• Dog's don't notice if you call them by another dog's name
• If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it
• A dog's disposition stays the same all month long
• A dog's parents never visit
• Dogs do not hate their bodies
• A dog never puts on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood
• Dogs do their snooping outside, not in your desk or wallet
• Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public
• You never have to wait on your dog. They're ready to go NOW
• Dogs find it amusing when you are drunk
• If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of you
• A dog won't hold out on you to get something
• If a dog smells another dog on you, it doesn't get mad
• It is legal to keep a dog chained up
• Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives
• If a dog leaves you, it won't try to take half