Q. What does the acronym W.I.F.E stand for?
A. Washing, Ironing, Food, Entertainment.

Q. Why shouldn't a wife wear white?

A. You have a white fridge, a white freezer, and a white microwave. Why
the hell would you want a white dishwasher too?

Q. Why did the wife cross the road?

A. Who cares? Why was she out of the kitchen?