New studies show that women who drink tea are twice as likely
to get pregnant.

Related studies have revealed that women who
drink Long Island Ice Tea are twice as likely to wake up in
the back seat of a Camaro with sticky hair.

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed
that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ,
depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For instance, the study found that if she is ovulating, she is
attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is pre- menstrual or menopausal, she is more
prone to be attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his
temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire.

Further studies are expected.