• The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
• It's always darkest before dawn.
  So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
• It's a small world.
  So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
• Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
• We are born naked, wet, and hungry.
  Then things get worse.
• No one is listening until you make a mistake.
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
• Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
• It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
• It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
• If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
• If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
• If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
• If you haven't much education you must use your brain.
• When someone says, "Do you want my opinion?" - it's always a negative one.
• The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.
• The trouble with work is - it's so daily.
• The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
• Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy.
  Check 3 friends, if they are OK, you're it.
• Pain and suffering is inevitable but misery is optional.