- Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels.
- You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open.
- You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
- Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.
- Your income tax refund check bounces.
- The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
- Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
- Your mother approves of the girl you are dating.
- Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.
- You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your MasterCard.
- Everyone loves your driver's license picture.
- The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker.
- People think that you're 40 and you're only 35.
