-
You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
- You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY!
- You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce"
correctly. - For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.
- You don't know what a moon pie is.
- You've never had grain alcohol.
- You've never, ever, eaten okra.
- You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
- You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are
on road trips. - You have no idea what a polecat is.
- Whenever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, it
goes over your head. - You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
- You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
- More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of
the same prep school in Connecticut. - You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to
get
his own TV fishing show. - Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call
them
you guys," even if both of them are women. - You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.
- You have never planned your summer vacation around a
gun-and-knife
show. - You think more money should go to important scientific research
at
your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach. - You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the
house. - You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
- You call binoculars opera glasses.
- You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side
of the road and stopping. - You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.
- You don't know what applique is.
- You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy
Bob,
Kay Bob, Bob Bob) - You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make
one. - You've never been to a craft show.
- You get freaked out when people you don't know smile at you or
talk
to you. - None of your fur coats are homemade.
