1. Upon your arrival, you were afraid to leave your car unattended.
  2. The programs weren't there yet. You had to beg the
    hostess for a program, once you finally found a hostess.
  3. The usher didn't know which side of the church was the Bride's or Groom's.
  4. The wedding started an hour or more after the
    time on your invitation.
  5. There were visible safety pins in some of the bridesmaids gowns.
  6. Some groomsmen were not wearing socks.
  7. A groomsman had his tux leg rolled up.
  8. You smelled marijuana as the wedding party went down the aisle.
  9. A groomsman or bridesmaid was wearing a beeper during the ceremony.
  10. A groomsman or bridesmaid answered a cellular phone during the ceremony.
  11. Nobody in the church had their beeper set for "vibrate".
  12. The preacher's beeper goes off.
  13. You couldn't hear the vows because of the crying babies.
  14. Someone was changing a nasty, smelly diaper near you, during the ceremony.
  15. The vocalist didn't know the words to the songs.
  16. The parents of the Bride or Groom were under 30 years old.
  17. The Bride and some bridesmaids had grown their hair 14 inches in a week.
  18. A member of the wedding party was wearing sunglasses.
  19. There were more than 40 people in the wedding party.
  20. The babies mentioned above were still crying after 10 minutes.
  21. The mother of the Bride or Groom had her shoes off during the ceremony.
  22. The Bride was given away by her 8 year old uncle.
  23. The happy couple already had kids; and most of
    them were in the wedding.
  24. Any Al Green song was played during the ceremony(ie. Love & Happiness).
  25. The babies mentioned above were still crying after 20 minutes.
  26. The communion "wine" was Champale.
  27. The strippers from the bachelor & bachelorette parties were in the audience.
  28. After the couple was pronounced husband & wife, at least 1 of the mothers
    shouted out at the top of her lungs, "THANK YOU LORD JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY"!!
  29. The couples first dance was to a song by "Master
    P.".
  30. The "LECKTIT SLIDE" (Electric Slide) was played
    at least five times.
  31. The wedding cake came from SAM'S CLUB.
  32. The lady serving the punch advised you to keep
    your cup.
  33. Your cup would only hold 4 ounces BEFORE that big
    ice cube was put in it.
  34. You saw groomsmen making trips to 7-11 and KFC to
    restock the buffet.
  35. At least one fight broke out.
  36. The best man that did the toast, didn't know the
    bride's name.
  37. The DJ had an entourage of 8 or more people.