• your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com"
• you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page"
• your computer is worth more than all of your cars combined
• your wife said either she or the computer had to go, and you
  still don't miss her
• you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your beer on
• you ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy"
• your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck,
  tractor or farm animal
• you start all your e-mail with the words "Howdy y'all"