• You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
• Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."
• You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
• Anyone in your family ever died right after saying,
  "Hey, y'all watch this!"
• You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'
• You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
• Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
• Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
• You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are,
  "Gentlemen, start your engines."
• The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down,
  depending on how much gas it has in it.
• One of your kids was born on a pool table.
• You need one more hole punched in your card
  to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
• Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart
  'cause there's a law against it.
• You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.
• You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
• Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."
• Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.